So you have decided that you are gonna move to Texas. Congratulations! You are fixin to be one of the elite who get to call the Lone Star state home. Some folks get a little nervous when they think about coming to Texas because they imagine rattlesnakes crawling through the streets, while cattle roam the towns, and everyone is wearing holsters on their hips and talking in a language that you have to be from Texas to understand.
I admit that Texas has a big reputation for being filled with people who are unique, proud, meat loving deer hunters, hog hunters, duck hunters, anything that moves hunters who never leave home without their guns, knives and pickup trucks.
For the most part, Texas got that reputation because all the things are true, but they are factual true not scary true. Them things are just part of being a Texan, and some of the things you need to be prepared for when you move here.
You know how the song says ‘if you’re gonna play in Texas, you gotta have a fiddle in the band?” Well if you are gonna move to Texas there are a few things you need to know.
Things to do if you move to Texas
The following is a list of things you must do if you are going to move to Texas. These are not just suggestions, they are factual things that you must do so you can fit in and have a good life once you move.
Learn to drop the ‘g’ on the end of most of your words
Texans have their own way of talkin. If you noticed that the ‘g’ was missing at the end of the word ‘talking’ then you have started to learn to speak Texan. Most of the time a Texan drops the g from the end of words like ‘talkin’, ‘fixin’, and ‘shootin’. Instead of saying the ‘ing’ of a word so that you hear the ‘g’ they simply add the word ‘in’ so the ‘g’ is missing completely.
- Farm-in not farming
- Hunt-in not hunting
- Dance-in not dancing
- Cook-in not cooking
It is real easy to learn to talk like this. You can practice after you get here.
- DO NOT make fun of the way a Texan talks or try to correct their grammar.
Learn that some Texas words have different meanings
If you go to a foreign country you understand that some words mean different things in those countries. Texas is the same. We was once our own country and some of our words have different definitions than the ones you find in the dictionary. Such as:
- Packin don’t mean putting stuff in a box it means carryin a firearm
- Coke is any carbonated beverage. If a Texan asks for a coke they will tell you what flavor they want.
- Tea is a sweet beverage, often served in a mason jar, and it is available in all homes
- BBQ is a food group and it don’t include grilling wieners or hot-dogs on the grill.
- DO NOT tell Texans that you don’t like BBQ… just eat some meat and say thank you
Boots are acceptable with all clothing
Western style boots are owned by almost everyone in Texas, except some of the transplants. Texans wear boots with shorts, dresses, long pants, to church, to feed the livestock, and when they go fishin. Get yourself a pair of boots and you will fit right in.
- DO NOT wear ‘girlie’ boots with spike heels, zippers, or fringe!!
Trucks are Everywhere
Even in the larger cities the majority of Texans own at least one truck. Every other vehicle on the road will be a truck.
- DO NOT be surprised when the mighty trucks are so tall that they have steps to help the people get in them.
Texans are friendly
Texans say howdy, they smile, they wave, and they expect you to do the same. If someone you do not know waves at you while you are driving just lift your hand and wave back. Be sure that you smile ‘cause they smile a lot down here.
- DO NOT simply nod and keep walkin if a Texan says howdy when they pass you on the sidewalk. They expect you to stop and say howdy back. Texans are not in a big hurry they always have time to visit with neighbors they see on the street.
Darling, Sweetie, and Honey are not Flirting words
The majority of men in the state, and women, are gonna call you darling, honey, sweetie, and they are not flirting with you. They are simply talkin to you.
- DO NOT get embarrassed by this type of talk. Texans were brought up with men calling everyone sweetheart and darling, so just act like it is perfectly normal for everyone to call you sugar-pie.
Texans love High-School Football
Texans take real pride in their hometown football teams. They show up to the games on Friday nights to support their teams whether they have children in the school or not. Go ahead and buy yourself a t-shirt with the home-team name on it and get yourself a stadium seat so you can be comfortable while you watch the game.
- DO NOT invite people over during the fall on a Friday night because they will be at the game.
Learn to keep bug repellant handy
Texas has mild winters so they have more skeeters and bugs than you are probably use to. Keep something with ‘deet’ in it handy so when you go outside the little skeeters do not carry you off into the woods where the big skeeters are.
- DO NOT leave your windows open if you do not have window screens on them. The bugs will move in faster than a pack of kin after you win the lottery.
Welcome to Texas where everything is bigger and better, especially our personalities.